Sylvie's birth story.

Sitting here today at five weeks postpartum, while my third baby sways gently in the swing next to me and my body oozes hormones and fatigue, I try to recall all the details of her amazing birth. I don’t say amazing because it was everything I hoped it would be, but it was amazing because I brought forth an entirely new human being into this world and that’s a miracle. Pregnancy and birth are such a miracle.

When I found out I was pregnant this time, I wanted to have a different birth experience than I had with Rozlyn and Nixon. After Nixon was born surprisingly early via c-section, Rozlyn was born via VBAC and while it was successful in the sense that I didn’t have to have a repeat c-section, I was horrendously unprepared for all of it. Reading her birth story now feels a little embarrassing because I should have known better – at least I feel like I should have? I don’t know. Anyway, all that to say, this time I wanted to prepare for a more peaceful experience. While Rozzy’s birth was redemptive in a lot of ways, I felt so vulnerable and undignified. Essentially the only thing I wanted to repeat from it was the healthy, beautiful baby that was born at the end.

To do this, I read all the books, blog posts, birth stories and Instagram captions/stories/reels about natural birth and working with your body to bring your baby into the world. I took a pain-free birth course, I downloaded and listened to a hynobirthing app, and did all I could to mentally, physically, emotionally and even spiritually prepare for birth. I wrote down all my birth preferences and felt like I was ready. At one point at the end of November I just came to a point where I said, “Okay, I’ve read everything I can read. I just have to let it happen now.” And that’s what I did.

One of the lessons in the pain-free birth course was to envision what your perfect birth looked like – like if you could write out the birth story you dreamed of, what would it entail? Aside from wanting to go into labor on my own and labor at home as long as I could,  I remember one of the first things I thought was, “Well, it’ll be January, so it would be so peaceful and beautiful if she was born while it was snowing outside.” Oof. Tuck that one into your pocket and read on. 

Sylvie was due on January 6th and as her date drew closer, I kept hoping and praying that I would go into labor on my own. I was starting to dilate gradually and while I know that can mean absolutely nothing in terms of how soon you’ll go into labor, I was still hopeful. I prayed and prayed, and asked everyone in my Bible study and on my Instagram to pray that I would go into labor on my own. However, at my 38 week appointment, we set a tentative induction date because as a VBAC, my doctor didn’t want me to go to 41 weeks. Now, I know I had options and could have said, “No, I want to wait,” but I trust my doctor and she delivered my other two babies safe and healthy, so we decided to set the date and then wait and see. I wanted to wait until after my due date, so Aaron and I decided on Monday, January 8th for the simple reason that the other two kids were also born on a Monday.

At my last OB appointment on January 4th my doctor did a sweep to hopefully get something moving. Over the next few days, I had a couple more indications that labor might be coming but still had absolutely no contractions. I was so disappointed. I prayed louder and harder. I relaxed my body as much as I could – releasing all tension or fear that might be keeping me from going into labor. Aaron asked me if I was scared to labor/deliver and I said no. I wasn’t scared. I felt totally confident and prepared. If only God would say it was time!

But we got to Monday morning, January 8th, and I still wasn’t having any contractions. Aaron and I drove to the hospital at 6am and I cried a few disappointed tears. Disappointed that I didn’t go in to labor – that God didn’t answer that prayer, and that I wasn’t able to do it naturally like I planned. To me, induction meant pitocin, which usually means an epidural. It meant laying in bed all day being pumped full of fluid and not eating. It meant not moving around. It meant all the things I wanted to avoid this time.

So anyway, we got to the hospital and while we waited, Aaron and I finally decided on our girl’s name. This is a big deal for us! A name before the baby was born? Are you kidding me? So proud of us. We went to the hospital with three first names and a handful of middle names but you can read about the reasoning for our choice over on Instagram if you’re interested.

My labor induction was fairly routine: I was hooked up to monitors and got my IV started, though it took three nurses four separate tries to start my IV and then they had to call in the anesthesiologist to do it. But they started pitocin and very shortly after that, my doctor came in to break my water. Before she broke my water I had very few contractions but once she did, they started pretty quickly, just like they did in my labor with Rozlyn. However, this time I was able to work through my contractions pretty well by using the hypnobirthing techniques i had practiced, listening to this beautiful, peaceful album, and reading through the verse cards i brought with me. I had essential oils flowing and a humidifer going. It was the best hospital version of the labor I wanted.

When I got to the hospital I was 3 to 3.5 cm dilated. After a couple of hours on pitocin I was at 5.5. The thing about induction is that they continue to up your pitocin incrementally – I think just to see how much pain you can handle without dying! Just kidding. I was handling it all really well until my nurse upped my dose one more time and very shortly after that my contractions were much more intense – like to the point I couldn’t really work through them anymore. I tried all my techniques that had worked for the last several hours but they weren’t working anymore. At this point I had raised the bed up so I could stand and lean over on it. I held on to the side of the bed while Aaron pressed on my back, but the contractions were too much for me. I started crying and finally said, “I guess I have to get an epidural. I can’t do this.”

The anesthiosolgist came in and placed my epidural and since she didn’t check me before my epidural, about five minutes after I was settled, my nurse checked me again and I was at 9 cm and completely effaced. Essentially I was almost complete before requesting the epidural and sat through getting one at 9 cm. Dang it! I wish I would have known.

But in a whirlwind they were setting up for delivery and my nurse was calling my doctor to come back to the hospital. Turns out my doctor was already on her way because she saw Sylvie’s heart rate dip on the monitor during those intense contractions. By the time she arrived I was ready to start pushing. I pushed for a little less than an hour. With an epidural that actually worked this time around, my doctor and I chatted and it was all very calm between contractions. There were only four of us in the room (because I had requested no students ahead of time) so I felt very comfortable, for which I was really grateful. I felt so much more dignified in this birth experience.

And then, just like that, Sylvie Novalee was born into the world at 2:04pm weighing in at 8lbs 9oz of pure sweetness. And wouldn’t you know it, it was snowing outside — the first snowstorm of the winter here in Lincoln — a beautiful reminder of the kindness of the Lord to give me one of the little things I hoped the day would include. Sylvie was placed on my chest and I couldn’t stop staring at her sweet little face. It’s so fun to finally meet who you grew to know all those quiet months together. In that golden hour after she was born, my nurse told me I hemorrhaged, which I had no idea about until she told me. I felt completely fine but they were going to watch me over the next couple of hours to make sure it all stopped. Thankfully it did without needing a transfusion and we were moved up to our postpartum room. Nixon and Rozlyn came up to the hospital a few hours later to meet their little sister and it was such a sweet time together as a family of five. Five! I still can’t believe it.

The thing that made this labor easier than my labor with Rozlyn is mostly that I knew how to advocate for myself better. You have to be your own advocate in any medical situation. I was able to eat until I got my epidural so I wasn’t starving all day and I was able to hold off on my epidural for all but one hour of labor because of the preparation I did in learning how to relax into every contraction instead of tense up against them. I also asked for wireless monitoring, which I didn’t even know was an option until reading about it, but that made it possible for me to move around the room and get into positions that were more comfortable to me, labor on the ball, stand, go to the bathroom when I needed to, etc. I felt much more in control of my own body, which is something I really wanted. The one thing I wish I would have asked was that they didn’t talk to me about an epidural unless I asked for it. My nurse brought it up several times as I labored and the anesthesiologist even came in and explained that since I was attempting VBAC, he preferred I get an epidural so I wouldn’t have to go under general anesthesia in an emergency situation. It just made me feel like I was always almost out of time to get one and/or I should just hurry up and do it already for everyone else’s sake/convenience. I know they’re just doing their jobs but it made me feel a little frantic, which is the opposite of what I was trying to feel.

After she was born I kept telling Aaron, “I think I could have done it (without the epidural) if ____”. Because if I knew I was already at 9 cm when I was having such a hard time with contractions, I would have been able to push through. “I think I could have done it” if I had a doula. In fact, then I know I could have. I know doulas are a privilege – not everyone can afford one and not everyone knows about them. But someone to advocate for you, who is familiar with the birth process enough to help you and know what point in labor you might be at and just know what you’d prefer rather than what is “routine” to the doctors and nurses would be a huge help to anyone.

Why was I so adamant about not having an induction? I don’t know — because I just wanted to try it. I wanted to experience the feeling of actually going into labor — I feel like there must be a fun surprise aspect to it that you really don’t get when you plan it out with an induction. I wanted my body to do the work it’s designed to do. I also wanted to try without an epidural and I know that generally speaking, when you’re induced you just end up having an epidural and I kind of wanted to avoid having a drug pumped into my body for myself and for Sylvie. But, you know what, it all turned out fine and I had a really good experience this time and a pretty easy recovery.

While induction isn’t what I wanted – not what I prayed for – God knew how Sylvie would enter the world, perfectly and according to his plans, which are better than mine. She’s here, she’s safe, and she’s lovely. I can’t wait to see all that God created her to be. These days were made for her and she was made for these days. I’m praying that as she grows she shines bright in the world like she already does in ours.